oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
