it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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