apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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