How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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