I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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