bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
