just come out here and I will go home with you...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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