she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
