I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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