it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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