Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
People in love make me want to vomit
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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