now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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