I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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