I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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