Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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