Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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