good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
