I've blown a few things in my day
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
