I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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