Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
