I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
