You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
