My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
