I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
