What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
