butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
