Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
