**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
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His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
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You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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