I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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