I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
