Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
