He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
