Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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