I bet he comes in French.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just tell him i said nine months
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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