she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
