So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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