So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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