I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
