using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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