Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
