So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
