Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
