I will die if light touches me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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