youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
