Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
COCAINE IS GR8
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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