Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
no you cant smoke seaweed
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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