i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
