Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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