hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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