This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Pants are for mortals
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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