Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
