Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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