She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
