Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
