I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
