well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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