Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
