I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
