he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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