He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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