Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Of course I have a pirate flag
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
