Already got asked if we're dating
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
