is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Someone signed my nipple.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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