I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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