Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
