Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
