the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
